Publishing Purgatory

I don't usually go in for these 'net memes, but I was having the kind of day in which this was particularly apropos.

Packagers who think running spell-check is the same as proofreading
condemned to
Circle I ETERNAL TORMENT WITH BLUE PENCILS

Believers in the Magic Book Machine
condemned to
Circle II A CAREER AS A PRODUCTION EDITOR

Packagers who think doing the PTA newsletter qualifies them to design books
condemned to
Circle III FORCED TO READ ENDLESS ITALIC TEXT IN PALE YELLOW 9-POINT TYPE WITH A RECTO BREAK THAT MAY OR MAY NOT CONTINUE SIX SPREADS LATER

Believers in the Magic Book Machine who work in publishing and should therefore know better
condemned to
Circle IV A CAREER AS A MANAGING EDITOR WITH A STAFF BUDGET OF $0 AND A BROKEN PHOTOCOPIER

Anyone who thinks they know better than the dictionary (they're almost always wrong)
condemned to
Circle V PUMMELING WITH WEB11 FOLLOWED BY A RAIN OF SERIAL COMMAS AND MORE PUMMELING, THIS TIME WITH WEB UNABRIDGED

River Styx

Dan Brown, for proving that you truly don't have to be able to write to be a best-selling author
condemned to
Circle VI ANONYMITY

River Phlegyas

Authors who are "disgusted" that we failed to make a silk purse out of the incomprehensible garbled so-called table in their ms
condemned to
Circle VII SUFFOCATION WITH FOUL MATTER

Authors who draw all over their first-pass pages
condemned to
Circle VIII SLOW DISMEMBERMENT BY PAPER CUTS AND RED PEN

People who fail to do their jobs and then make it my problem
condemned to
Circle IX ETERNITY DOING MY JOB

Design your own hell