A Candidate We Can Support with Confidence

The eminent author and raconteur (well, he's eminent if you hang out at the Red Lion in Chicago) Bill Breedlove is a finalist to become a member of the Chicago Tribune's Bod Squad, a team of readers who will subject themselves to all manner of spa treatments, sacrificing for the benefit of the rest of us. The squad is being selected by reader votes. Here's a sample of Bill's platform:

Wasn't applying hot stones and boiling wax to people a method of torture used during the Inquisition? I can barely spell "exfoliating," let alone imagine what it's supposed to do. I'd like someone to explain to me-with a completely straight face-why rubbing my face with seaweed that smells like a Nantucket outhouse will make the bags under my eyes smaller, and cost only $175 to boot.

He's a man of the people! And he's up against a boring old lawyer and some silly "metrosexual" type--these people go to spas all the time, they don't need the Tribune to pay their way! Think of it as a Fresh Air Fund for adults. Okay, one adult. But a journey of a thousand bikini waxes starts with one...oh, never mind. Just get out there and VOTE. Early and often. (After all, it's Chicago.)